Looking for coaching that is a little less sterile and a little more sensual? Meet Amanda Santos, the holistic sex coach who follows Taoist practices and heals with her heart.
"Beyond the confines of traditional therapy, my focus is on cultivating sexual energy as a catalyst for enhancing overall life quality. A harmonious relationship with our bodies, I believe, is the key to unlocking fulfilment in all aspects of life.’
Amanda Santos is a holistic sex coach, using sensual touch to help clients feel connected to themselves and their sexuality. She also offers online-only services. Amanda understands sex as being more than just sex- but a huge aspect in our overall wellbeing. She coaches heart-first, spreading the love to help her clients do the same.
Could you introduce yourself and what you do?
My name is Amanda Santos and I’m a holistic sex and intimacy coach, providing massage services within my coaching. I am 47 years old. I grew up in Portugal but spent most of my adult life in the UK. I am also a mother and successfully raised two young adults that I am proud of, they are my sun and my stars, my guiding lights.
My therapeutic method is based exclusively on ancient Taoist philosophy, which highlights the importance of spontaneity, transformation, serenity and omni-potentiality to find harmony with the Tao.
I also apply Qigong, a Chinese energy cultivation practice, to sexual well-being and health and longevity,
Having started in London, I worked for the last 14 years as a Holistic Sex Therapist, focusing on educating and empowering couples and individuals, teaching them the ancient Art of Love, using secret Taoist techniques to deepen sexual intimacy and break taboos.
What are the specific services you offer?
Sex & Intimacy coaching – Online (Based on Taoist sexology, includes Chi kung active meditations with visualisation, breathing and self massage).
Tao/Tantra massage session with sex and intimacy coaching.
How would you describe your coaching style in a nutshell?
My coaching style is intuitive. I have a sensitive nature and a natural gift to talk to people and to say exactly what they need to hear and give them acceptance and the unconditional love that all humans deserve.
My greatest assets are my generosity and my open heart and the ability to be authentically myself with anyone in any situation. My honest, personal approach is what distinguishes me from most others in my profession.
What was your journey into this world?
The first time I experienced Tantra I was 23 years old with a older man who opened up my mind to reach outside my own boundaries. I was then in a long-term open relationship with the father of my daughter and was extremely inexperienced and insecure, but this event in my life marked me immensely as I realised how much I was really missing from life.
I had always loved to massage, love and worship my boyfriend, but that nurturing caring part of myself had slowly dissolved away and a in replacement of my soft and nurturing feminine side, a more masculine type of personality had developed.
I was 31 years old when I met one of the most important people in my life, in a pivotal time when I was at my lowest, I somehow attracted this angel into my life who helped me come back to health and trained me in the traditional Chinese medicine and other oriental healing arts.
But in one session I had a huge breakthrough after an EFT session that uncovered a molesting experience which I had buried very deep I never told anyone. Until then I didn’t even tell it to myself, so this EFT session changed my whole outlook on how deep and mystical working with the body and meridian points that transverse memories stored in the body and reprogram the body emotional response.
I went on a journey of self discovery and liberated myself sexually from my past traumas. I wanted to break all my boundaries, all my taboos and so I fulfilled most of my fantasies and for over 7 years I tried everything! I became a pro Domme but I eventually began to feel my masculine side subsiding and me becoming again more feminine in my sex life. I learned to slow down and be more sensual, then as time went on, my love for research and self study of the Tao became my primary focus.
I was trying to figure out my thing. I didn’t want to study just Chinese medicine alone, nor did I want to just do massage alone, I felt I was meant for something else. I had this fantasy that I would become a courtesan/muse and so while my children went on holiday with their dad for a few months, I had the time to clear my mind about what I wanted.
This work properly started when I put an advert on an adult site and wrote an intriguing advert suggesting an alternative to sex and escorting. My services were clear and my suggestions were certainly about sex therapy, and so I just had the most interesting people reaching out, asking all sorts of questions, telling me their issues and so on.
So I quickly created my niche clientele, people that genuinely wanted to learn and needed help, love, acceptance. I developed my own approach but must say I was heavily influenced by the Taoist Masters I thoroughly studied Dr. S T Chang and Mantak Chia for years. I never felt more realised in my life, so empowered!
I finally was fulfilling my life mission, what was inside was coming out and being recognised and valued although I was initially quite overwhelmed with excitement over the amount of people contacting me.
How does an in-person session go?
The session always starts with a good talk first after the initial conversation on the phone, and getting into feeling a comfortable way of communicating with each other. An open heart connection starts to bloom and the rest is all very personally tailored to each client’s state of mind awareness and level on the Tao Tantric Arts.
I will guide the client to consciously touch and feel, regarding the energetic exchange, to balance the giving and taking of energy/ pleasure and teach a masculine person to become more soft and more yielding to their feminine side.
I don’t ever push to make anything happen. It’s a dance of two forces- each on its own terms and simply me guiding them to no end to release all preconceptions of wants and desires.
After we have reached that balance, a Tantric body-to-body massage will help the client feel more into their surrendering state of mind and so the sexual bodywork can start then. I often will do a Lingham massage, with the practice of holding back ejaculation. Also a prostate massage, and for women it’s more about the release perineal tension and opening up the yoni.
Who should seek your services?
I work with all sorts of age brackets and all kinds of different cultural and religious backgrounds, gender and sexual orientations.
I can help people suffering from porn addictions causing psychological impotence. Those who feel they lack experience, suffer from fear or shame, religious taboos and mental repressions. Or people that live too much in their head, who are stressed and unable to connect fully with their body.
I work with men suffering from PE and ED. I work with women wanting to balance their hormones, painful periods, TCM and experience no pleasure in sex, frigidity. Often the women I work with come from strict religious backgrounds or arranged marriages.
What do you wish more people knew about what you do?
True intimacy can be intimidating and vulnerable, but it is also the deepest and most fulfilling thing we can experience in life. I work with individuals and couples to help them navigate the complexities of intimacy and connection.
What is a small and unexpected pleasure in being a holistic coach?
Its amazing to connect on such a deep level with each and every person; most of my important friends have been/still are my clients!
What do you hope the future holds for the sensual world?
More and more I see how the masculine, male-gazey sex world is losing its appeal, as people evolve and naturally seek more spiritual sexual experiences.
I see people are realising that pleasure is not something we have to wait to receive, we can live in full pleasure and not require others to achieve that state of joy and bliss. Just the simple things, like the fact that you are breathing, you are alive, you are body mind and soul- are huge sources of pleasure.
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Sensuali: Sex positive experiences online and in real life
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